I seem to fall back into the rhythms of overcommitment so easily. After a relatively peaceful and smooth summer, August is storming in with an extra long to do list and a slew of emails. I honestly can’t complain. 98% of the things I do are fun, and I get to do them with great people. (#blessed) Even so, I see my calendar filling up quickly and I can’t help but feel a little squirmy. I loved the relaxed pace of summer. Fall brings a rush, and I’m not quite sure I want to dive in head first yet.
When I first started working on Mad & Dusty full time, I had confused actual productivity with the feeling that all the things were constantly hitting the fan. I suddenly wasn’t rushed or frantic, and I felt I was getting nothing done. I started sleeping better, and worried that everything wasn’t happening fast enough. There had been so many sleepless nights, zombie like date nights, and just all out terrible days before. When things started settling into a more natural pace, I had this sinking feeling that I wasn’t being productive. I was terrified to slow down.
Now, I’m honestly a little scared to speed up. Things are different now. Now I know that accomplishing things is not synonymous with glorified work stress or a big paycheck. Accomplishing things looks more like a client hosting a successful fundraiser or the courage and tools to make a big ask. Accomplishing things is an email being thoughtfully written and sent during work hours. Accomplishments are cooking dinner, going on bike rides and laughing at Pokemon Go with Dusty. Painting, writing and having open space - all huge accomplishments.
As things heat back up, I’m working to find peace and preserve open space in the small things: a short walk between design projects, chocolate breaks, and even sleeping in a little later these days. My priorities are in a different order. My frame of success is a little different too. I’m excited to see how these things make this busy season different from last years busy season. I know how easy it will be to revert to old patterns, but I feel like this slow summer has fortified me. Let’s see how it goes!