Gridlock

Last night I dreamed about taking down the curtain rods and patching up the holes in our bedroom. Like really daydreamed intensely about it. I visualized each step. How fun it would be to unscrew and lay in some spackle. I was most excited for the sanding part. Where everything comes out looking so smooth.

I think I’m overbooked.

And I think we (I) don’t give myself the time for what matters. Taking care of your home matters. Spending time to create a little more beauty in your world, no matter how small, matters.

I think I am tired.

After dreaming about my tiny home improvement project, I began to think about all the work I need to get done. I started to feel overwhelmed and gridlocked.

You know that feeling where you’re waiting on your check at a restaurant and you just really want to leave, but you also want to be polite. You’re not going to physically confront your gracious server, but you do wish they would see you looking politely earnest. If it takes a very long time to get their attention, you can start to feel trapped. Then that politely earnest look turns a little frenzied. Maybe you start blinking a lot or you keep reaching for an empty cup.

I think I’m a little gridlocked, a little frenzied. I think I'm going to start working on that.